Wii Boxing with Ivan Drago

I am down visiting my friend Beth in Houston right now, where I was able to meet her new boyfriend (to give my approval ha ha) see a Cubs game, and hang out with her son (who just turned three today). Since Beth is divorced, we had to drop off Jake with his dad for his birthday visit. Oh Jake's dad....

Jake's dad's name is Sergei. Sergei is a doctor here in Houston and besides being a interesting and very smart guy, he is your classic Russian "alpha male" Being that I was hanging out with his ex-wife (even though it was in a brother kind of way), I think he was a bit threatened. Wanting to show his dominance and pretty much embarrass me, he challenged me to prove my worth as a man in the only thing he had available at the time; Wii Boxing. Due to a lack of controllers, he set me against a computer opponent. Now, I have never played Wii boxing before in my life, and not only did Sergei want to see me fail, he happened to pit me against a female boxer. Thinking it was going to be the funniest thing he has ever seen and taking a guess by my appearance that I was not a boxer myself, he handed me the controls with quite the smirk on his face. Little did he know that I'm in the midst of my marathon training, and I was prepared to do whatever it took to not only defend my honor, but the honor of America. I found myself in a classic Rocky IV moment, not only fighting for vengeance of my fallen black friend and my country, but possibly for my life. As the Wii Boxing bell sound, the lady boxer came at me fiercely with all her might. Undaunted by her higher Wii boxing rating compared to that of my own, I danced and punched gracefully and with the force of a truck (stuck in the mud). As I whittled down her trivial pursuit like pie strength meter, I felt the confidence swell up within me. The Russian was amazed at my agility, and much like the crowd in Rocky IV, I think I started to turn him over to my side rooting for me. It was an epic battle, both combatants knocking each other down numerous times. Finally, in the third round, I was able to knock my lady opponent down one more time more than I had been taken to the canvas. Noting the time in the match was only about fifteen seconds and realizing that one more shot by my fierce female foe would level my cartoon boxer to the canvas, I knew what I had to do. I cowered my bum into a ball off to the side, evading any chance the lady boxer had of connecting another shot. As the bell sounded and the score was tallied, I couldn't help but to start to hum our great national anthem as I won on points. Feeling the pride of wining one for the US of A is something I won't soon forget. I not only won the respect of the nation, I won the respect of an Russian ex-husband of a girl I once took to prom eleven years ago.

For your viewing delight, here is a tribute to Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.