Being mugged, my story

I told myself that I was going to sleep on it before witting about it in great detail, but I can't quite figure out how to sleep tonight, so I'm hoping this will be somewhat cathartic. I took the Metrolink from the airport to the station located five blocks from my house; a route I have walked or ran a hundred times before. In the rain halfway home, I was mugged by two males of African-American descent. They took my money, my ipod, and my new phone (I loved that phone).

What I am hoping to talk about with this post has less to do with the items taken but what I was feeling during and after it happened. One of them that I could see did have a gun, but even at the time I wasn't convinced that it was a real gun. It looked more like a starter pistol, but I wasn't sure enough to chance it. They took off running back towards the metrolink. I found myself mad for not running behind them and yelling at the armed metrolink guard that I had just been mugged. I have also gone back and forth about a single term...hero.

What does it mean to be a hero. In the movies, we think of the hero as the person who saves the day or gives their life to save another. I tonight felt like such a non-hero; I felt afraid, I felt confused, I felt shocked...I felt helpless....and I HATE feeling helpless. I'm the type of person that needs to feel like I'm in control. But then...are any of us in control? We never know what waits around every corner. I could have been shot tonight, and that, along with being mugged, was not on my day planner when I left California this morning. Another thing I am struggling with is wanting to pray for the two people who did this to me. I want to be privilege to all the rights that come with victim status. I want to hate them, I want to wish harm on them, I want to see them pay (I also want to get my stuff back). Is that what Jesus would want? My mind turned to Matthew 5:38-40

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."
Is Jesus saying to be a victim? I don't think so. I think he is saying to have a heart of forgiveness.

I'm tired right now, but there is a thunderstorm out, and I am very jumpy. I'll do my best to try to go to sleep.

Know something else I want right now...to move!!!!