Be a light unto the world

It has been about a month since I last posted something to my blog.  There are many reasons for this, most of them school related and trying to stay focused on my studies.  While driving in the car today on my way to the library to study for my chem final, something really drew my ire.  Recently Elizabeth Edwards, the estranged wife of John Edwards, passed away after a long battle with breast cancer.  There will be a public memorial service for her today, and it is expected there will be a protest staged by Westboro Baptist Church.  To quote from their website (used with permission according to the copyright statement on the website):

WBC will picket a respectful distance from the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards who split hell wide open on December 7, 2010.  Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming: it stirreth up the dead for thee, even all the chief ones of the earth; it hath raised up from their thrones all the kings of the nations.  All they shall speak and say unto thee, Art thou also become weak as we? art thou become like unto us?  Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee.  (Isa. 14:9-11.)  This witch spent her life in defiance and disobedience to God, and blasphemed Him with her dying breath.  She received multiple warnings and opportunties to repent.  After God smacked her by killing her son, she thought she'd show Him, pumping herself full of hormones to have more kids.  God gave her two more children, and she despised them like she did the first two, raising them to believe God is a liar.  She called her dead 16-year-old brat "righteous" and said the Old Testament promises for God's people are lies. Her blasphemous words:  "I had to think about a God who would not same my son...not only did he not protect him, the hand of God blew him from the road."  If she had been a righteous woman, she would have said like Job, "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord".  Then, when God smote her with breast cancer for her rebellion, she said, "I'm not praying for God to save me from cancer.  I'm not.  I do not have an intervening God.  I don't think I can pray to him -- or her -- to cure me of cancer."  Her pride and arrogance is breath-taking!  The last thing she would think to do is humble herself before the mighty hand of God.  So, when Elizabeth woke in Hell on December 7th -- where she will reside for eternity -- her son, Wade, met her and began an eternity of cursing her for lying to him.  Our message is for the living: do not live like Elizabeth Edwards or you will die like her and spend eternity in Hell where the worm never dies and the fire is never quenched.  And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh.  (Isa. 66:24.)"


Is this what it is meant to be a light unto the world Westboro?  This is nothing but ugly...very very ugly.  Nothing about this quote's efforts shows the love of Christ unto the world. I want to be a doctor, and if I am fortunate enough to become one, nothing about a person's life or situation will be predicated on their life, lifestyle, beliefs, etc.  I want to use what has been given to me as a light unto the world.  Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful things about the world is the church.  Its art, its tradition, its charity.  Even an unbeliever can see good in some of the things the church does when it does it out of love.  I, as a believer, can see no good in what Westboro does because I believe they to be absent of love.  In fact, I believe them to be fueled by hate (without dignifying their website address, Google Westboro baptist church to find evidence of this from their official URL).  I do not want to be one to judge another; I write this today because this church's actions make me sad.  I know people who do not believe, and I want to be a light unto them.  If this becomes the image of what it means to be a Christian to the world, what chance does love have to be a light?

Facebook fast

Growing up in church, I was warned to not let things become your idol.  One of the things about idols is that I don't believe we start off using something for the purpose of making it your idol.  Instead, most everything has been given to us by God to enjoy in moderation and context.  Facebook, on the other hand, was becoming a bit too much of an obsession for me.  I decided to take a Facebook fast in order to realign myself to those things which are important.  God, friends, staying active, exercise, and school.  I must say it was hard to be away from it at first, but by the second week, I found that I wasn't missing it all that much.  When I brought my account back online after two weeks, I really felt like I was more in control of my Facebook experience.

Tomorrow is my marathon.  I look at it as another thing I have wanted to do that will soon be behind me.  What new adventures does this new week/month/year have for me and my life.  My best advice to me is to hang on for dear life.

Healed

This is a repost of a blog entry my friend Annie told me about.  Its a good way to think how our pasts affect our present, future, and the grand plan God has for us that we can never figure out on our own.  How do we heal?  What heals us?  Why do we go through pain?  Thanks Annie for letting me know about this and thank you Amy for writing this very insightful piece.  The original posting can be found here.

The other day, Paul and I were talking about a friend of ours that we had not seen in a while. She had been due one day apart from me when we had our second miscarriage. Every once in a while, I see pictures of her cute little guy on Facebook. I told Paul, "The funny thing is, when I look at his pictures, I don't really think about how we would have had a baby the same age as him." We have another friend who had a baby within a few days of that same due date. I said, "When I look at Kayla, I just look at Kayla. I'm not comparing her to what our baby would have been at this stage."

Then he said, "Sadie healed you."

And even though there are always scars from experiences like that.....I know there must be because I have talked to women who lost babies through miscarriage 30 or 40 years ago who still get teared up in the conversation....I realized that scars are not open wounds. They are areas where wounds once were, but they are healed. God leaves those marks, though not always physical, as reminders of His goodness through those times, of the ways that He healed the hurt. I know God healed the painful wounds. And He did it through this....

Test everything

I was sitting in the parking lot tonight of Fazoli's eating dinner and listening to some christian radio...The Bible Answer Man to be exact.  The topic; evolution.  He had two Ph.D.s/Biologists on refuting the theory of evolution.  As someone coming out of two semesters of biology, I was interested in the topic.

I had a real problem with the tact the bible answer man was taking.  He referred to those who profess the theory of evolution as "having a vested interested" in proving the universe was completely and 100% natural (as in not supernatural).  The reason I had a problem with this is because there was a total refusal on the part of the bible answer man to admit his own vested interest in the disproval of evolution.

It traces back to one of the primary issues I have with the Apologetics movement (as well as movements such as militant atheism); both attempt to prove the inverse versions of universal negatives.  In each, they attempt to prove something doesn't exist, using their own collection of proofs and beliefs.  I'm a Christian, and I believe in the savior of the bible.  But can I prove it?  No.  Can an atheist prove there is no God?  No.  Each requires an element of faith.  Unable to speak from an atheist's point of view, my studies of Christianity have taught me that faith is intrinsic to Christianity (ie...the Christian Faith).  God wants us to choose to believe, otherwise he would have not given us free will.  In both side's attempts to prove the other side wrong, we forget what the bible says is even greater than faith.  Love.  How much prayer do we put into God to soften the hearts of unbelievers as we attempt to prove them wrong?

Why do I believe?  I have the evidence of what God has done in my life.  I have evidence in the comfort he has given me in times of trial such as something I'm going through now.  I attempt to "Test everything. Hold on to the good."  And I'm reminded of something my pastor once said.  He said if you find either a pastor or a scientist who says they have all the answers, they are equally arrogant.  We are not called to have all the answers, we are called to have faith, and seek wisdom as it is revealed to us.

Where's the love?

Is this French freedom?

Think government in your life is harmless kids?  Take a look at what is going on in France right now.  See this link.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8635178.stm

Now, am I Muslim?  No.  Do I believe its necessary for women to wear these face coverings?  No.  But I also believe this is yet another example of a government oppressing a people and telling them what they can and can no do.  I'm reminded of Roy Biggerstaff, the person who was the dean at many of my church camps as a youth.  He used to tell a story at the beginning of each camp that was meant to illustrate how much was "too much" fun...and for the most part, he summed it up by saying "your fun ends where my nose begins".  In other words, you should not have fun at someone else's expense.  Would someone please tell me how someone wearing a face covering affects my freedom in the least?  Yet, this is a directed law meant to deprive a people of their culture that, quite frankly, doesn't affect me at all..  The level of freedom all too often is greater when it covens than when its adjourns.

Easter Orphanage

Seeing the family was in a different part of the state for Easter, my friend Tara took me to the George's house for Easter.  This visit was absolutely a wonderful blessing to my life and I was meant to be no other place that day than there.  Its so wonderful to see a family of such wonderful faith.   I saw how their faith had brought them through some uncertain times, such as finding the location of their new store location.  Life truly is a journey and God will see you through.

The neighbor Jesus loves, the widow

My next door neighbor lost his wife at the beginning of the year.  In warm weather months, I would see both of them outside sitting on their back porch, and I would often come over and say hi.  What makes me a bad neighbor is I didn't find out that she had passed until a month and a half after it happened (I found out from another neighbor).  What makes me a worse neighbor is I didn't talk to him for about another month.  I don't know what it was.  I know I have been busy with school and my life in general, but I also know I was putting it off.  I didn't know what I was going to say.  Tonight, I was feeling a bit down and I decided to get out of the house for awhile.  I saw his front door was open and I decided I walk up and knock.  I asked him how he was doing and he said he was ok and noted what a surprise and shock it was.  The conversation was a bit awkward until we started talking about what neighbors talk about best; we started to complain about another neighbor and how their dog that won't shut up.

Awhile back, my pastor had a sermon entitled "The Neighbor Jesus Loves, the Widow".  The verse cited was Luke 7:11-17, which reads:

11Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. 12As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. 13When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry."
14Then he went up and touched the coffin, and those carrying it stood still. He said, "Young man, I say to you, get up!" 15The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother.

16They were all filled with awe and praised God. "A great prophet has appeared among us," they said. "God has come to help his people." 17This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea[a] and the surrounding country.

Matthew 6:16

In case you are not familiar with it, it reads ""When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."  In no translation that I've studied can the original greek for "disfigure their faces" be translated into "blog about it", so I feel perfectly justified in writing about it.  Am I missing the point, perhaps, but I really can't think of anything else to write about, so....

Actually, I write about it because I wish to share a testimony from the beginning of the year fast I did last year.  As mentioned in the post about my blog's birthday, I now look back on the year 2009 and think about how far I came emotionally, spiritually, and personally.  In each thing I prayed about during my last year's fast, I received an answer of some sort and new direction in my life.  As the new year dawned, I look at the year with a different perspective than 2009, and I credit a lot of what happened to me last year to being able to stop and listen to what God wanted for my life.  If you've never fasted, its a great way to clear your mind and help you focus on what God has in store for your life.

I don't know about tomorrow

I'm lying here, unable to sleep, as I have several things running through my mind. I'm thinking about the fact I'm upset at someone that I really shouldn't be; its one of those situations where I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. To make myself smile, I'm thinking about a very special person who has came into my life recently. In both cases...thinking about the person who I'm a bit upset at and the person who is super special, I got to thinking about an old hymn I used to sing in church. Thinking about it made me calm down to the point I'm not upset at this person anymore and made me think about the person who is so special in my life (and in a larger sense, all people who are special in my life which include both people mentioned above). The hymn is "I don't know about tomorrow". I'd like to dedicate this to the special person who has made me not stop smiling since I've known you...you are awesome!

I don’t know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from it’s sunshine,
For it’s skies may turn to gray.

I don’t worry o’er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I’ll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev’ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter;
Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I don’t know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.

And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I’m covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I hope you are sitting down for this....

Now there is no way that the title of this post can live up to the buildup of what I have to say, but I'm going to say something that is and will be forever true and yet some people choose not to see it; God is good. There is a somewhat throw away line in the movie where Doc Holiday refers to having what "alcoholic's call a moment of clairity". In my life, like perhaps many believers, I' have had my ups and downs in my faith. Is this just an up, or is this actual growth? I saw that as best as I can understand, this is growth.

I spoke to a friend tonight that grew up in a neighboring town. Life has taken us to different experiences, and to different geographic regions of the country. We each knew we had a special story to share with each other, and being the guy, I let her go first. She sharef with me what her story was and how God is working in her life..and I found myself getting giddy. I asked her if she was sitting down for what I had to tell her, and she said yes. I told her how God was working in my life right now, and I found her to be in silence. There we both were, after shareing, simply blown away by God. I'm glad I was sitting down as well. There is of course a lot more to the story, but remember, I'm in self-censorship mode. Stay tuned...all will be revealed to you.

God is good

Selling George Noory ocean front property in Arizona

I tend to listen to something as I fall asleep at night. Lately, I have been on a "Coast to Coast AM" kick. For those unaware of the program, it mostly deals with anything and everything in the world of paranormal and extra-terrestrial. I find the program to be wildly entertaining, for it is filled with all sorts of conspiracy talk and "experts" on all kinds of different things that are beyond what the average Joe would probably believe. I often think what the host of this show must be thinking. Even if you believe in some things beyond belief, you every once in awhile have to say to yourself "come on"

Belief, its a funny thing really. We all believe in something, and all of us believe in things we can not prove. I believe in God, I believe that he sent his son Jesus to die for my sins, and I believe that since I have asked him to be my personal lord and savior, I am going to heaven....wow. When you write it out, I (and all Christians who believe the same thing) believe quite a bit, no of which we can prove. If we describe it to someone, it even seems hard to believe. Why do I believe this thing that seems to be so improbable. I believe because I know how it has changed who I am, I believe because I feel things are revealed to me that have no earthly explanation, and I believe because it is the truth as I have seen my life unfold. Should I go on Coast to Coast AM? Is this where my out there belief belongs? There is no need to do this of course, because I have large numbers and cultural tradition to believe in this behind me, but how should I express my belief to someone that is a skeptic? My hope is that my belief and my truth shines through me, and that my life be used for him. For this, may my belief become a personification of truth.

Being mugged, my story

I told myself that I was going to sleep on it before witting about it in great detail, but I can't quite figure out how to sleep tonight, so I'm hoping this will be somewhat cathartic. I took the Metrolink from the airport to the station located five blocks from my house; a route I have walked or ran a hundred times before. In the rain halfway home, I was mugged by two males of African-American descent. They took my money, my ipod, and my new phone (I loved that phone).

What I am hoping to talk about with this post has less to do with the items taken but what I was feeling during and after it happened. One of them that I could see did have a gun, but even at the time I wasn't convinced that it was a real gun. It looked more like a starter pistol, but I wasn't sure enough to chance it. They took off running back towards the metrolink. I found myself mad for not running behind them and yelling at the armed metrolink guard that I had just been mugged. I have also gone back and forth about a single term...hero.

What does it mean to be a hero. In the movies, we think of the hero as the person who saves the day or gives their life to save another. I tonight felt like such a non-hero; I felt afraid, I felt confused, I felt shocked...I felt helpless....and I HATE feeling helpless. I'm the type of person that needs to feel like I'm in control. But then...are any of us in control? We never know what waits around every corner. I could have been shot tonight, and that, along with being mugged, was not on my day planner when I left California this morning. Another thing I am struggling with is wanting to pray for the two people who did this to me. I want to be privilege to all the rights that come with victim status. I want to hate them, I want to wish harm on them, I want to see them pay (I also want to get my stuff back). Is that what Jesus would want? My mind turned to Matthew 5:38-40

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."
Is Jesus saying to be a victim? I don't think so. I think he is saying to have a heart of forgiveness.

I'm tired right now, but there is a thunderstorm out, and I am very jumpy. I'll do my best to try to go to sleep.

Know something else I want right now...to move!!!!

21 Day Fast

Well there I was, laying in my bed back home one night over break, puttering around my beloved facebook. I saw a Christian friend of mine (we'll call her Kari because that is her name) come online, and I started chatting w/ her using FB's somewhat unreliable chat system. I asked her something like if she had and new year's resolutions, and she said that her and her husband were going to participate in a 21 day fast to start off the year. The original document that she sent me can be found here http://www.worldprayercenter.org/images/stories/Fast/2008.pdf.

Like many things, I'm going to take the concept and make it my own. One of the modifications I'm going to make is that I'm only going to eat certain foods during the fast and not give up everything completely. (Maybe I should call it a Moderate, and not a Fast...waka waka). I've consulted with a dietitian friend of mine who seemed to give me a balanced view on the concept of fasting between her personal beliefs as a christian and her training as a dietitian. She seemed to agree that my very simple food choices would do the job. Right now, the only foods I'm planning on eating during this time are rice, nuts, and berries. I will be supplementing this with water to drink and vitamins for other nutrients.

You may be saying to yourself "What's wrong Dan, don't you have what it takes to give up all food?" Let me respond by saying that if you don't like the way I'm going about this....TOUGH TACOS TUBBY! :) In all seriousness, the reasons someone would undertake something like this are varied. For me, I have some personal things I wish to pray about in my life, and I am hoping that this period of time provides me with some clarity on those issues. In addition, I'm hoping to use this time as a springboard for a strong spiritual, physical, and emotional 2009. As time progresses, I may reveal some of the things I will be praying about, but I'm not going to right now (I guess you'll have to check back to find out ;)

Regarding what this will do to the physical me, I plan on tracking what effect this has on my weight and appearance and I go forward. Something I hope to do with this blog is keep a running total of what my fitness status is. I plan on posting before/after pictures of myself throughout the year as I work towards some larger fitness goals that I will enumerate in a later post.