I have had a few of my ardent blog followers get on my butt for not posting in awhile. Know that if I'm not posting, its because I am not coming up with any good material. I've floated an analogy out there that I was hoping to share with my readers. You'd have to know a little bit about me to get it, but you probably wouldn't be reading this if you didn't know a little bit about me, so....
One of the things I'm really trying to work on in my life is learning to be OK with being single. Not going to lie to you, its not a lot of fun, but I have concluded that God isn't going to provide me with someone until I do this because it will make me more ready for his blessings. In this pursuit, one of the things I wrestle with is having low self-esteem when it comes to dating because of some of the old fashioned believes I have regarding what should and should not take place while you are just dating and not married (if you catch my drift). I've been working on a metaphor on how to express this, and I came up with something from the movie Titanic.
Do you remember when the ship was sinking? (ie...3/4ths of the movie)? Titanic sinking is a lot like looking for a steady relationship while single. You start off young and feeling like you have all the time in the world. Then something goes off (you hit an iceberg), and you really start looking for a way off this singles boat. Sure, five minutes after hitting this berg, you don't panic, and you may walk past many of lifeboats (relationship opportunities) because of one reason or another. As the boat sinks more and more, you start thinking that maybe you aren't going to get off this boat and you are going to sink to the bottom. At this point, you start regretting all those great lifeboat opportunities that you walked right on by and you start thinking that you would do anything to hold on to a piece of driftwood. If all these things aren't enough, I often think my old-fashioned values put a hindrance on my choices regarding ways to get off this singles sinking ship. I start building up in my head that all women my age have certain expectations of what is expected in a relationship and I know that I won't be able to deliver that during the courtship stages. Therefore, I sometimes equate myself to the passengers running around the ship who didn't speak English. Here are all these passengers (single people) running around trying to get off this ship, and I often view my old-fashioned beliefs as being like having to try to get off the ship and figuring out what the emergency signs are telling me when I don't even speak the language, making my task even more difficult than someone who is at least able to read the signs pointing to the lifeboats. Does God have it in h is plan for me to get off this boat? I hope so, as I think I have a lot to offer to the people back on shore. To drive this point further home, here is a movie clip of me singing "My Heart Will Go On" in a duet with my third cousin twice removed while I was at a karaoke bar in California...enjoy!!! (sorry it is so dark and sorry I set music back 1000 years)
1 hour ago
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I had a friend yesterday who is married say "being single sucks" It was so liberating to have a married friend not try to focus on "my freedom of time" and be realistic and say "I hated being single."
ReplyDeleteAll that to say... yep.
But also- I think the midwest increases the frustration. Small town america holds those traditional values you hold so it pushes the time schedule on you.
So in your adventures you might pray about taking a year- bum around Europe, Africa, wherever. Hang out in the expat community. Or even spend a year in New York. It gives you a whole new time line for the single world.
Here's hoping you make it to one of the life boats or you don't get stuck with a freak like the titanic chick who "never lets go" and then breaks your arm off in the freezing water.
Wait....I'm confused. Who are these women and why did you pick their video? WOW! - JFA
ReplyDeletewow, this is some horrible singing!! -DA
ReplyDeleteI feel like you should talk to the Riverside pastors. I understand your frustration, but there are some theological holes that, I would imagine, are causing you more distress than they are helping you.
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