Did this shirt fade

In another of my every popular I am a mall retard stories, I went to the mall today to kill some time before I had my house group meeting (see above). I had worn my new green shirt I had bought this past weekend, but I had sent it through the wash and I was convinced the shirt had faded after the one wash. I couldn't get this thought out of my mind and I'd look at it with a tad bit of "buyer's remorse" thinking the shirt had already lost some of its color. I went to the display where the shirt was located and held it up the identical shirt I was wearing. I compared the two shirts carefully and finally concluded that the shirt hadn't faded and it was simply that color. I also concluded the shirt was one of those shirts that was a slave to the light present. I couldn't get away, however, without a woman with her daughter walking by and seeing what I was doing and having her say "I think you've already got that one!!!" (yuk yuks all around).

Standing there, I quickly realized I was wearing practically the identical outfit the mannequin was wearing, so I snapped a picture of the mannequin with my camera phone. I'd take a picture of me too, but take my advice, I look just like this except with my head as opposed to being headless. Also, please ignore the portion of the mannequin peck in the bottom left hand corner of the picture.

Confusing store names (subtitle: I am a mall retard)

Ok, so, it turns out that stores in the mall think it is funny when they have more than one store in the mall for different ages. Some are better at it than others, such as "Baby Gap, and Ladies Foot Locker, and New Navy (Old Navy for Kids, it doesn't exist, but it should)...while others are designed to confuse people like me, as I am the equivalent of a father of a teenage girl in the mall. I can't remember if I blogged about the time I couldn't find my way out of Hollister because I couldn't figure out how to leave the store (you can just walk out, you have to walk out and turn). This story involves Abercrombie & Fitch. So, I walk into a store in the mall labeled "abercrombie" all lower case letters. It has the typical absence of color and the bass beat track, and I know I'm in the "right" place. I start looking around and the first thing I noticed is that I couldn't tell the difference between the men's and women's section. After I asked which side was which (yes I did), I started looking around....all the while the girl working there that I just asked the question to was eyeing me up and down. Now at first this did something for my ego as just prior to this some random high school girls took a random picture of me with them in JCPenny's and I asked them to make sure to tag me in Facebook when they put it up. I asked them how old they thought I was and they said they thought I was 21...sweet! Fresh off of this news, I was feeling pretty young and fly and the fact this girl who could not have been out of her teens was eyeing me up and down was making me feel pretty good. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized it wasn't a checking out eye I was getting, but more of a OMG what are you doing you freak eye (I should have picked up on this sooner as I have received this eye far more times than anyone checking me out). I was still struggling to find any clothes that I thought would fit me, as it all seemed to be for really thin people and I was starting to develop a complex about my body. I went back over to the girl that was giving me "the eye" and I asked her why it seemed that everything in the store was made for midgets. She had to explain to me that I wanted to go to the Abercrombie down aways and this was the Abercrombie for kids. I quickly deduced the reason she was giving me the eye she was giving me was she figured I was a looking to abduct a small child or something since I wasn't with anyone and I wasn't old enough to have a child to buy for in Abercrombie for kids. I had to sulk my way out of the store and go to the big people's Abercrombie, but by this time, my spirits were pretty shot. I ended up seeing one of the students that go to my school at the abercrombie...awkward!!!!!!

Odyssey of the Pants

So there I was, a scared little boy walking into the big, intimedating mall. Would I belong? Would I be found out for what I was...a guy with limited fashion sense.

As part of my new wardrobe homework project, I was assigned to go buy two pairs of jeans. For this project, it was strongly suggested to me that I should go to the buckle because they would take the time to help me out. Being a jean buying newbie (I usually relied on getting gifts). I didn't know what to expect. After looking at the prices at some of the jeans, the first question that ran through my mind was did they pick up basic cable. After I got over the fact they didn't, I had to admit to myself that they had some pretty cool looking stuff. I explained the situation and was put in contact with Buckle Associate Whitney. She helped guide me on my jeans buying adventure.

I quickly realized that I shouldn't feel bad for lacking confidence in my ability to find jeans that fit. As it turns out...I'm "one of the hardest people to fit that has ever came into the store" (words of Whitney). I easily tried on 30 pairs of jeans before arriving at two that I liked and that fit. It is a miracle that I have ever received a pair of pants that fit (and according to some, I never have). Two pairs of jeans, one hour, and $150 later, I now am on the train to Cooltown. I took a picture of some of the jeans I tried on that didn't make the cut.

Clean-up, Isle 2

I am now in the process of cleaning my room up from trying on clothes the other night. I am giving away the vast majority of the clothes, but there are a couple of items I've decided to sell on ebay or at Plato's closet. Its a disaster area, but I'm glad I took the time to go through everything.

I went to church today and I really liked the service. I attend Riverside Church in Webster Groves, MO. I really like the sense of community, and I am thinking strongly about joining. I just got an email saying there is a new membership seminar on Saturday. I'm going to try to attend.

I was pleased to see some of the people that went on a mission trip to Hondourus. They said it was a wonderful experience; one I would like to partake in someday. I need to get my passport so I can be in a position to say yes next time (I was asked to go this time, but I didn't have a current passport).

Hit the refresh button every once in awhile

After going through my clothes tonight w/ my "lady friend', I realized that I need to do this a lot more often. If it were to snow on the pile of clothes I need to get rid of, I could go skiing down their massive mountain. My "lady friend" has offered to take me shopping, but she said that the task may be so large that she may have to bring in re-enforcements. Is this going to cost me...yes. On the bright side, I plan on donating the old clothes to a clothes closet. Most of them are still good, they just don't fit anymore because I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago (37 lbs).

Update: I just got a txt from "lady friend" saying I could use her name. Her name is Jennifer, and she was a real trooper tonight for helping me out...thanks Jenn!!!

Do these pants fit?

There is a term that has floated around since the personals classified days called HWP. For those of you who who were too cool for the personals or you can't read...height weight proportional. The term is usually used to describe someone as a non-fatty, but I'm starting to wonder if the term applies to me. I can't seem to find clothes that fit. Part of my problem is that my legs and arms are pretty long compared to my waist & torso, so I end up having a case of naked wrists and ankles w/ the clothes I wear. Another problem is that as a guy, I don't even know what looks good & I have a small aversion to the mall. I have enlisted the services of a "lady friend" to go through my clothes w/ me tonight. We'll see how it goes. I'm also typing this post from my phone, which I kind of think is neat.